Did you just find out you’re pregnant? Are you keeping this to yourself? Or have you discussed it with the father of the baby? Do you have differing opinions from each other? Or are you anxious about how your decision to abort might impact your relationship?
Will my relationship change if I have an abortion?
The truth of the matter is an abortion in a relationship becomes a shared history, but on the flip side, so does pregnancy. Unfortunately, and fortunately, your lives and relationship are bound to change. In life, we are supposed to grow and change, but sometimes things change for the worse. Some relationships change drastically – a breakup, a change in your normal dating life, etc. In comparison, others change for a period of time and then go back to a different kind of normal. According to psychiatrist Philip Sarrel, “Abortion is frequently a negative turning point in a relationship leaving scars which can undermine the future of the couple either together or as individuals.”
How could my relationship change?
Grief could affect your relationship. In a study by Lloyd and Laurence, “77% of women who terminated a pregnancy due to fetal malformation reported acute grief.” Their research also found that “approximately 30% of college students who had an abortion or had a partner who aborted agreed or strongly agreed with the following statement: “I sometimes experience a sense of longing for the aborted fetus.”
Grief in any relationship is hard to navigate. Without sufficient opportunity to grieve a fetus lost through abortion, problems in relationships with partners may develop if one or both partners are grieving. Grief does not make a relationship impossible to continue, but it can be challenging and straining.
What if I keep this to myself?
Suppose you continue with silence about the abortion in the relationship. Like in any relationship, all secrets will eventually become known, so it’s better to put everything on the table and not carry this burden alone. Research conducted by Patterson, Hill, and Maloy (all Oxford Graduates) revealed that women’s reasons for choosing abortion were “overwhelmingly tied to their life situation.” Life is always easier when you carry a burden with two people instead of one.
Many women have goals and ambitions they want to achieve. They don’t know how they’d handle a baby. But they also aren’t sure how they will feel about abortion either. That’s why at Marisol Health, we offer options counseling. And if you find the need for additional counseling, we can help connect you with the necessary resources.
We are here to care for you! And, remember, you are unique, capable and strong. You deserve to have someone listen to you and care for you in a way that’s confidential and empowering.